I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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