We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
