it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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