Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
