why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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