dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
