Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
