well I can't set my house on fire every night
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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