I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
