she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
