it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize