Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
