i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i've created a new STD.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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