Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
