If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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