Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
