There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
