i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
