Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You ruined the universe
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
