Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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