Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
