It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
