enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
