Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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