Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i've created a new STD.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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