I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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