U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
