Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
