i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have aggressive nipples.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
