Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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