this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
