what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
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It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
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I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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