if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
