I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
