He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
