She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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