We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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