New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
