After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast