Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.