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there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a hot homeless man
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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