you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
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mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky