Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize