Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
