hotel room ftw
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
