the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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