Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
