Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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