Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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