Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
