we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
