Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
