how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
