On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize