you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
