I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize