My friends, they love my intelligence
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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