Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
