she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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