We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
