at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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