I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
